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im a total newb and i cant find where a list of commands are. can u help me?

Look at the "HELP" pages in-game.

Another good way: go to the Options->Input Settings->Change Key Mappings and look at your key settings. Main ones:
arrows = move
Space = shoot
Tab = jump
Less important:
, = message nemesis (?)
. = message recipient (l/r arrow to choose who)
n = message all
m = message teammates
b = binoculars (zoom in for laser sniping)
Shift+F buttons = change tabs (chat, server, etc)
Hunt = u (up/down to choose who to hunt, fire to select, makes the selected person flash and makes noises when they're close, useful for people with genocide)
THe other important ones that I've changed so I don't know the default keys:
drop flag
identify who you're looking at (used with Guided Missle to lock on)
Other than that, muddle around the key mappings and figure them out.

Space drops the flag, not shoot
Enter shoots
I identifies/locks GM

You can move with your mouse, fire with left click, drop flag with middle, and lock/identify with right. The rest you have to use the keyboard.